My father's family is a piece of work. In fact, I basically have ceased to have any sort of relationship with them. (Well, except for one aunt and two cousins, but since I usually see them at family holidays with my MOTHER'S family, I actually think of them as being part of that half of my family.) But here is an example of the ways in which my father's family is a piece of work.
Indian weddings are a big, big deal. (If you doubt this, I suggest that you see the movie Monsoon Wedding.) You invite everyone. You invite the milkman's sister-in-law. I mean everyone. (Okay, not the milkman's sister in law, because you would not invite people below you in social status. You invite your boss, and his sister, her husband, and the husband's extended family.) You certainly invite your own family. My cousin, R, is getting married. While no one has sent me an invitation, I have heard this through the grape vine. I am okay with not being invited. I have neither the time nor money to go, even if I had the inclination. What I do object to it this email, which arrived this afternoon:
Dear Family and Friends,
You are cordially invited to my sister R's wedding. The wedding
ceremony will take place on December 12th, at New Delhi, India. Please see
the attached wedding invitation for details.
Warm wishes and hope all of you have a great holiday season!
Regards
S
I was tempted to write back and say:
Dear S,
Why thank you so much for the invitation. In the next week, I will find and possibly fly to my nearest consulate in order to get an expedited visa. I will also get a ticket--thank you so much for giving me lots of notice. I am sure I will be able to get a good rate on the flight. Also, I am sure that my colleagues will be glad to take my classes, since there is ample time for them to adjust their schedules.
See you at the wedding.
GJ
I told Kosher Academic about this and she thought that perhaps the invitation was to make people feel obligated to send a gift. Equally possible, and my guess, was that it was sent so that the relatives who are on the outs could not complain that we had not been invited. More likely, it is some of both. But am I wrong that it is somehow ruder to send an invitation a week before the wedding than it would have been to not invite us at all?
6 comments:
Totally rude. It's fishing for gifts.
There might be some kind of tier system/waiting list in place. . . but pulling names off the list this close to wedding is dangerous because it lets the second-class, wait-list person know just how second class she is.
it seems pretty rude to me - especially given all the things you mention in your hypothetical "reply." It's probably some "don't complain" and some "send gifts," combined, yes.
Oh my. Not OK. But kind of funny if you just decide not to care.
Wow. Just wow.
Actually, as ticked off as I seem in the fake email response, when I first got the email, I thought it was so funny that I laughed so hard that I got a stitch in my side and had a hard time breathing.
That is so rude! It got my dander up just reading it. I think you're right -- fishing for gifts and covering their bases so everyone was "invited." But an EMAILED wedding invite -- sooo lame. I think you should send the response. >:)
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