Home for Break

I am home for a vvisit of more than a day for the first time in about two years. I have been home for a ccouple of holidays, but those were visits in which I and at least 3 other people were camped out in my bedroom, or at the very least, there were at least 6 people in the house for dinner every night. Right now, it is just me and my parents, and, of course, the dog squad. There has been quite a lot of barking around here. Being home has been really hard. In the past, being around my dad was difficult because he was very mercurial in his moods. He would be maudlin and loving, or angry, or depressed. Once, he threw a temper tantrum in the car that ended with him lying on his back kicking his feet and batting with his hands like an over tired 3 year old. He was vague and ssometimes out of it, rarely listened well enough to retain what was said to him. The family theory was that if he ever stopped drinking, things would get better. Now, a year and a half or so into his sobrity, things are sort of better, but not really. He clearly has done enough brain damage, or is pushing into demensia enough that he is not really any less vague. If anything, he seems more confused and less able to retain information about what is going on. There is almost no ablity to look at a situation and make logical deductions. In addition, AA has clearly taken over his life. Now, by and large, AA is probably for the best, but it has led to a tendancy to pontificate about spiritual matters. (You can imagine how much I love this.) And it is wierd when he gets into that mode. He staands up and he kind of sways back and forth when he talks in this sort of sing-song, monotone voice. Other than the talking, it reminds me of a kid with autism. It also kind of reminds me of spirit possession--it is hard to see his eyes, because he has had a bunch of surgery and therefore has dark glasses at the moment, but if I discovered that they had rolled back in his head, I would not be at all surprised. He goes on and on about how if you get angry, you are just letting other people control you and about how all religion is about a need to connect spiritually to something. It is like pop psychology and pop spirituality run amok.

Meanwhile, it sounds like he is really out of it in a number of other ways as well. My mom said that she came home the other day to him bumbling around the kitchen (her word). He was clearly looking for something. Then she noticed that there was a hamburger patty (not sure if it was cooked or not) sitting on a dishcloth. She asked him about it and it turned out that he had been looking for the hamburger. But would anyone llike to contemplate all of the ways that situation was unsanitary? Especially considering that he uses the dishcloths as potholders, but also as rags to clean the counters? And considering that he did not understnad why my mom took the cloth straight to the laundry?